I have fallen off the wagon and am finding it very hard to catch up and climb back on. I think about posting often, but then do not find the time to sit down and get it done. I started this post weeks ago, but after a couple of paragraphs it just sounded whiny so I made myself stop until I could get in a better frame of mind. No one wants to read a whiny blog, though I am sure this one has devolved into that tone often enough. I have thought about just not bothering anymore, but an experience at a conference last weekend made me think again. It was a small moment, but I have been remembering it all week. One of the session leaders briefly shared the blog she had started just a few months before. Browsing through it, I skimmed her first post where she outlined why she was finally jumping into blogging. She stated that she had always struggled with wondering what she had to say that people would want to read. A sentiment I can closely relate to. But she realized that blogging isn't, or shouldn't be, about what other people will want to hear. You write for yourself, not for the readers.
That statement has been nagging at me all week and it is why I am writing this today. I am not writing this blog for you or anyone else reading. I am writing it for me, and for Isaac and Matt. Matt used to keep a blog when Isaac was young. He stopped writing about the time I started. Together, our posts chronicle Isaac's life and are a way of holding on to memories. Isaac's development as a reader and the books we share is a major part of his growth and saving these moments is valuable to us. And that is reason enough to find the time to keep posting here.
Not that I kid myself into believing that I will be posting with any more regularity than I have been in recent months. The stress of 3rd grade is kicking this mom and librarian in the butt. The high stakes have been set and policies have been adopted to ensure that all students are meeting the goal. We are assessing and testing and setting nightly reading goals all while trying not to pass the stress on to the kids. I can't keep up with what we are supposed to be doing each night. Add to that the afternoons spent at GOFAR or board game club or mad science or church or drum lessons and often it is Thursday before I remember to ask if we are ready for the weekly spelling test. Most weeks the answer is "no."
Added to the day-to-day stress is my struggle not to pass my angst on to Isaac. I have had to remind myself many times since August that just because I was never satisfied with less than an "A" does not mean that Isaac has the same mindset. He wants to do well and he is a solid student, but he can easily accept an average grade whereas "B's" to me always meant "bad." It has been a hard lesson for me this year to learn how to set expectations that are realistic for Isaac's ability and personality.
The worry among many educators who are in the trenches, seeing the students every day, is that we are killing their love of reading. Isaac is a good reader, falling right where he should for his age and grade level. He likes to read, though it is not his favorite thing to do. Most of the time the nightly reading gets done willingly. I have come to the realization this year, though, that sometimes the best thing I can do to ensure that he likes to read, is to let him skip a day or two of the "30 minutes every day" routine. Life is busy, as much as Matt and I try to keep a balance between work and down time. And, though we (teachers) are trying not to pass the stress on to the kids, it seeps down. A month or so ago it hit me, in the midst of an evening breakdown during which Isaac was in tears because he hadn't had time to play and here we were telling him he had to go to bed, that he is stressed. He doesn't know how to articulate that, but the signs are in his behavior.
I am trying to be more aware of how our home routines are structured to help him deal with his anxiety, because the school routines are not going to ease up. And if there are evenings when the choice is to force him to spend his last 30 minutes before bed reading or let him play a video game with Matt or watch an episode of Adventure Time, then reading may get pushed aside. The next night he may choose reading over the game or the TV show, but ultimately it has to be his choice. If I want him to choose reading later, then I need to allow him to make other choices now.
The effort he puts into school and the time he spends reading are his decisions. All I can really do is encourage, help, set examples and nudge. And record our memories along the way.
16 February 2014
20 October 2013
Ripples of Kindness
October 16 was Blog Action Day with a focus on human rights. I missed the actual date, school and life have been hectic this fall, but I wanted to participate, even if my post is late.
When teaching young children about human rights, the focus is different than when talking to older children or adults. I believe that the foundation of human rights is universal respect and kindness. If we can teach children to respect others and value differences, and if we instill in them virtues like kindness and tolerance, then, hopefully, their futures will be ones in which people's God-given rights are ensured.
Jacquline Woodson's book Each Kindness offers a lesson to children about how their actions can have a larger affect. A young girl and her friends ostracize the new girl in their class whose clothes do not fit, whose shoes are never right for the season, who doesn't speak English well, and whose toys are old and battered. They turn away when she looks on their group longing to be asked to play and rebuff her overtures of friendship. Then one day the girl is not at school. A lesson about how an act of kindness is like a pebble dropped in a pool of water -- the effects cause ripples which grow and spread farther than we can see -- makes the main character reflect on how she has treated the girl who was different. She realizes that she missed an opportunity to be kind when the teacher tells the class a few days later that the girl will not be returning because her family has moved away.
Many children's books wrap up conflicts like this very neatly and offer a resolution that makes the reader feel like, in the end, everything was okay. Woodson does not offer her readers that pretty package wrapped up with a nice big bow. The book ends with a feeling of regret and sadness. But the reader has hope that the next time, when the new girl walks in the class looking different and sounding strange, she will be welcomed and included.
It is not only children who need a lesson on the effects of kindness. How many of us adults know someone who would benefit from a reminder? How many of us could use the reminder ourselves?
We will never all agree or believe the same thing. And it is not necessary, or desirable, that we do so. But it is necessary that we come to a point where a person's beliefs or way of life are not a seen as a threat because they are different from our own. And it is necessary that we teach our children that kindness to others in words and in actions is a basic human right.
When teaching young children about human rights, the focus is different than when talking to older children or adults. I believe that the foundation of human rights is universal respect and kindness. If we can teach children to respect others and value differences, and if we instill in them virtues like kindness and tolerance, then, hopefully, their futures will be ones in which people's God-given rights are ensured.
Jacquline Woodson's book Each Kindness offers a lesson to children about how their actions can have a larger affect. A young girl and her friends ostracize the new girl in their class whose clothes do not fit, whose shoes are never right for the season, who doesn't speak English well, and whose toys are old and battered. They turn away when she looks on their group longing to be asked to play and rebuff her overtures of friendship. Then one day the girl is not at school. A lesson about how an act of kindness is like a pebble dropped in a pool of water -- the effects cause ripples which grow and spread farther than we can see -- makes the main character reflect on how she has treated the girl who was different. She realizes that she missed an opportunity to be kind when the teacher tells the class a few days later that the girl will not be returning because her family has moved away.
Many children's books wrap up conflicts like this very neatly and offer a resolution that makes the reader feel like, in the end, everything was okay. Woodson does not offer her readers that pretty package wrapped up with a nice big bow. The book ends with a feeling of regret and sadness. But the reader has hope that the next time, when the new girl walks in the class looking different and sounding strange, she will be welcomed and included.
It is not only children who need a lesson on the effects of kindness. How many of us adults know someone who would benefit from a reminder? How many of us could use the reminder ourselves?
We will never all agree or believe the same thing. And it is not necessary, or desirable, that we do so. But it is necessary that we come to a point where a person's beliefs or way of life are not a seen as a threat because they are different from our own. And it is necessary that we teach our children that kindness to others in words and in actions is a basic human right.
20 September 2013
Barbarians at the Gate
Fangbone by Michael Rex
A review by Isaac (typed by Mom)
The book was about a boy from a different planet who was a barbarian named Fangbone. And he traveled from that planet to this planet and he ended up in a junkyard. There was a school nearby so he went to that school and tried to blend in. He had to fight all these crazy monsters along the way. And he has a friend named Billy.
There was a war between these crazy monsters because they wanted the Toe of Drool and the leader of the barbarians gave the Toe to Fangbone so he could come this planet. He becomes Billy's friend. He goes to Billy's house and tries to find a snack. He finds hot wings and Fangbone eats the hot wings and his face starts turning red. He swallows the hot wings and he says to Billy "why did you think I would like this?" Billy says, "because you are a barbarian. I thought you would like something hot and spicy." Then, Fangbone takes Billy to the garage and finds good sports gear to dress up to fight the crazy monsters. The Toe begins wiggling which means that there are monsters nearby. A monster starts coming out of the ground and it was a Hound Snake. It had the head of a hound, the body of a snake, a helmet, and two sharp snake teeth. They fight the Hound Snake and couldn't defeat it. Then Billy remembers the hot wings and Billy runs to grab the of wings out of the refrigerator. When the Hound Snake comes toward him, Billy throws the hot wings in its mouth and it jumps over the fence. Then they drop the Toe of Drool and a bird picks it up. They chase the bird and Fangbone throws a worm at the bird. The bird drops the Toe but a squirrel picks it up and they chase the squirrel. Then Fangbone throws an acorn at the squirrel. The squirrel drops the Toe of Drool and they get it back.
I thought this book was cool and crazy and it was kind of weird that a barbarian traveled to this planet and started going to school. I think it was a crazy, weird idea that the author wrote this book. I want to read more about Fangbone and I think other people should, too.
A review by Isaac (typed by Mom)
The book was about a boy from a different planet who was a barbarian named Fangbone. And he traveled from that planet to this planet and he ended up in a junkyard. There was a school nearby so he went to that school and tried to blend in. He had to fight all these crazy monsters along the way. And he has a friend named Billy.
There was a war between these crazy monsters because they wanted the Toe of Drool and the leader of the barbarians gave the Toe to Fangbone so he could come this planet. He becomes Billy's friend. He goes to Billy's house and tries to find a snack. He finds hot wings and Fangbone eats the hot wings and his face starts turning red. He swallows the hot wings and he says to Billy "why did you think I would like this?" Billy says, "because you are a barbarian. I thought you would like something hot and spicy." Then, Fangbone takes Billy to the garage and finds good sports gear to dress up to fight the crazy monsters. The Toe begins wiggling which means that there are monsters nearby. A monster starts coming out of the ground and it was a Hound Snake. It had the head of a hound, the body of a snake, a helmet, and two sharp snake teeth. They fight the Hound Snake and couldn't defeat it. Then Billy remembers the hot wings and Billy runs to grab the of wings out of the refrigerator. When the Hound Snake comes toward him, Billy throws the hot wings in its mouth and it jumps over the fence. Then they drop the Toe of Drool and a bird picks it up. They chase the bird and Fangbone throws a worm at the bird. The bird drops the Toe but a squirrel picks it up and they chase the squirrel. Then Fangbone throws an acorn at the squirrel. The squirrel drops the Toe of Drool and they get it back.
I thought this book was cool and crazy and it was kind of weird that a barbarian traveled to this planet and started going to school. I think it was a crazy, weird idea that the author wrote this book. I want to read more about Fangbone and I think other people should, too.
11 September 2013
12 Years
The stories have been shared around the internet all day -- 12 years ago I was . . .
Beginning my teaching career, still in graduate school, working in an elementary school library. I don't remember how I first heard about the attack, probably through a co-worker who had heard it from someone from outside the school. Because they didn't want the TV's on in the classrooms, teachers came into the library to watch the news when they had a few minutes away from their students. I caught snippets of the reports throughout the day, then went home to sit in front of the television and try to make sense of what was going on.
12 years later it still does not make sense. And teachers have the unenviable task of taking an event like 9/11 and putting it into a context that our students will understand, whether they are 5 or 15. I remember having conversations with classes one year after the attack and trying to prepare the students for what they might see on TV that night as the nation reflected back on how America had dealt with and been changed by what happened that morning. I remember hoping and praying that their parents would be present to help them process what they heard and saw.
Now I teach children for whom 9/11 is an unreal event -- they were not born when it occurred so for them it is distant history. But as a teacher I still have a responsibility to help them process what they hear and see and to help them make sense of this part of our history. I do that through books.
I have used a handful of stories in the past twelve years to teach about 9/11. These are some of my favorites.
Fireboat by Maira Kalman I mentioned already when I reflected on our trip to NYC this summer and our visit to the 9/11 Memorial. This book was the topic of much discussion among my colleagues when it was first published in 2002. The image of the planes flying into the towers, even as a painting, was thought to possibly be too traumatic for children to see so soon after the attack. At that time the actual video and images were still shown on TV with regularity. It was felt by some that children did not need to see it depicted in a picture book. I used it anyway with my older students. I believed that if they might see it on TV, possibly without an adult with whom to talk about the image, then seeing it painted in a book I shared with them would certainly not be any more traumatic. And the story of the crew who took this little boat to fight the fires caused by the falling towers is a lesson in bravery that the students needed to hear.
New York's Bravest by Mary Pope Osborne is also one that I have used many times around the anniversary of the attacks. It is the retelling of a legendary firefighter who worked in New York in the 1840's. His feats of heroism had the people singing his praises until he disappeared in a hotel fire. Until 9/11, this was just another entertaining American tall-tale. The story gained new meaning, however, in the aftermath. Osborne included an historical note about the legend and dedicated the book to the 343 New York City firefighters lost that day.
A newer book that is a lovely and touching tribute is 14 Cows for America by Carmen Agra Deedy. In 2001 a young man from Kenya was studying in America. After the attacks, he returned home and told the story of what he had seen and experienced. His people, the Maasai, dedicated a gift of 14 cows to the people of America to show their support and honor their sacrifices. This book was published a decade after the attacks and reminds readers that 9/11 did not just happen to America. It affected the whole world and we have many brothers and sisters who felt our pain.
Just so you know, I cannot read any of these books without crying. Crying in front of my students is not my preferred presentation style, but every now and then I like to let them know that I am human. These books touch my heart and I think my emotional connection with the stories helps the students understand the impact of an event that they may not internalize the significance of, but that has had a profound effect on their lives.
Beginning my teaching career, still in graduate school, working in an elementary school library. I don't remember how I first heard about the attack, probably through a co-worker who had heard it from someone from outside the school. Because they didn't want the TV's on in the classrooms, teachers came into the library to watch the news when they had a few minutes away from their students. I caught snippets of the reports throughout the day, then went home to sit in front of the television and try to make sense of what was going on.
12 years later it still does not make sense. And teachers have the unenviable task of taking an event like 9/11 and putting it into a context that our students will understand, whether they are 5 or 15. I remember having conversations with classes one year after the attack and trying to prepare the students for what they might see on TV that night as the nation reflected back on how America had dealt with and been changed by what happened that morning. I remember hoping and praying that their parents would be present to help them process what they heard and saw.
Now I teach children for whom 9/11 is an unreal event -- they were not born when it occurred so for them it is distant history. But as a teacher I still have a responsibility to help them process what they hear and see and to help them make sense of this part of our history. I do that through books.
I have used a handful of stories in the past twelve years to teach about 9/11. These are some of my favorites.
Fireboat by Maira Kalman I mentioned already when I reflected on our trip to NYC this summer and our visit to the 9/11 Memorial. This book was the topic of much discussion among my colleagues when it was first published in 2002. The image of the planes flying into the towers, even as a painting, was thought to possibly be too traumatic for children to see so soon after the attack. At that time the actual video and images were still shown on TV with regularity. It was felt by some that children did not need to see it depicted in a picture book. I used it anyway with my older students. I believed that if they might see it on TV, possibly without an adult with whom to talk about the image, then seeing it painted in a book I shared with them would certainly not be any more traumatic. And the story of the crew who took this little boat to fight the fires caused by the falling towers is a lesson in bravery that the students needed to hear.
New York's Bravest by Mary Pope Osborne is also one that I have used many times around the anniversary of the attacks. It is the retelling of a legendary firefighter who worked in New York in the 1840's. His feats of heroism had the people singing his praises until he disappeared in a hotel fire. Until 9/11, this was just another entertaining American tall-tale. The story gained new meaning, however, in the aftermath. Osborne included an historical note about the legend and dedicated the book to the 343 New York City firefighters lost that day.
A newer book that is a lovely and touching tribute is 14 Cows for America by Carmen Agra Deedy. In 2001 a young man from Kenya was studying in America. After the attacks, he returned home and told the story of what he had seen and experienced. His people, the Maasai, dedicated a gift of 14 cows to the people of America to show their support and honor their sacrifices. This book was published a decade after the attacks and reminds readers that 9/11 did not just happen to America. It affected the whole world and we have many brothers and sisters who felt our pain.
Just so you know, I cannot read any of these books without crying. Crying in front of my students is not my preferred presentation style, but every now and then I like to let them know that I am human. These books touch my heart and I think my emotional connection with the stories helps the students understand the impact of an event that they may not internalize the significance of, but that has had a profound effect on their lives.
09 September 2013
No Matter What
Raising an 8-year-old boy can be hard sometimes. Friday morning in our house was a prime example. Isaac and I both ended up in tears on the way to school, Matt was up early and grumpy from having to intervene, and the "I hate (insert parental moniker here)" was thrown out for the first time ever. All around it was a pretty horrible morning.
We made it through the school and work day and met up back at home in better moods than we had left, but then had to go our separate ways again for football practice and other commitments. I was drained and all I really wanted to do was spend some time repairing my bond with Isaac and relaxing with Matt so we could reassure each other that we weren't the worst parents in history.
Before we left school Friday afternoon, I put Oh No, Little Dragon by Jim Averbeck in my bag. It seemed like something Isaac and I needed to read together. It is a picture book and not on Isaac's reading level, but reading it with him wasn't about moving him up to the next level. It was about reminding both of us that I love him no matter what -- even if the "what" is a kicking the seat, hitting the headrest, screaming at the top of his lungs tantrum on the way to school.
Little Dragon loses his spark and fears his mother won't love him anymore. I am not sure if Isaac worried that I didn't love him. I wondered how he felt about me, though, in the middle of the catastrophe that was our Friday morning. But Little Dragon's mother reassures him that her love is always with him, which warms him up inside and reignites his spark.
Before Isaac went to class on Friday, I hugged him and told him I loved him. He hugged me back and we both held on a little longer than usual. After football practice that evening, the boys made me pumpkin cupcakes for my birthday and we sat down and watched a movie together. It didn't erase what had happened that morning, but it was an affirmation that we are a family -- we will fight, we will forgive, we will cry and laugh, and we will love each other no matter what.
We made it through the school and work day and met up back at home in better moods than we had left, but then had to go our separate ways again for football practice and other commitments. I was drained and all I really wanted to do was spend some time repairing my bond with Isaac and relaxing with Matt so we could reassure each other that we weren't the worst parents in history.
Before we left school Friday afternoon, I put Oh No, Little Dragon by Jim Averbeck in my bag. It seemed like something Isaac and I needed to read together. It is a picture book and not on Isaac's reading level, but reading it with him wasn't about moving him up to the next level. It was about reminding both of us that I love him no matter what -- even if the "what" is a kicking the seat, hitting the headrest, screaming at the top of his lungs tantrum on the way to school.
Little Dragon loses his spark and fears his mother won't love him anymore. I am not sure if Isaac worried that I didn't love him. I wondered how he felt about me, though, in the middle of the catastrophe that was our Friday morning. But Little Dragon's mother reassures him that her love is always with him, which warms him up inside and reignites his spark.
Before Isaac went to class on Friday, I hugged him and told him I loved him. He hugged me back and we both held on a little longer than usual. After football practice that evening, the boys made me pumpkin cupcakes for my birthday and we sat down and watched a movie together. It didn't erase what had happened that morning, but it was an affirmation that we are a family -- we will fight, we will forgive, we will cry and laugh, and we will love each other no matter what.
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