Ripples of Kindness

October 16 was Blog Action Day with a focus on human rights.  I missed the actual date, school and life have been hectic this fall, but I wanted to participate, even if my post is late.

When teaching young children about human rights, the focus is different than when talking to older children or adults.  I believe that the foundation of human rights is universal respect and kindness.  If we can teach children to respect others and value differences, and if we instill in them virtues like kindness and tolerance, then, hopefully, their futures will be ones in which people's God-given rights are ensured.

Jacquline Woodson's book Each Kindness offers a lesson to children about how their actions can have a larger affect.  A young girl and her friends ostracize the new girl in their class whose clothes do not fit, whose shoes are never right for the season, who doesn't speak English well, and whose toys are old and battered.  They turn away when she looks on their group longing to be asked to play and rebuff her overtures of friendship.  Then one day the girl is not at school.  A lesson about how an act of kindness is like a pebble dropped in a pool of water -- the effects cause ripples which grow and spread farther than we can see -- makes the main character reflect on how she has treated the girl who was different.  She realizes that she missed an opportunity to be kind when the teacher tells the class a few days later that the girl will not be returning because her family has moved away.

Many children's books wrap up conflicts like this very neatly and offer a resolution that makes the reader feel like, in the end, everything was okay.  Woodson does not offer her readers that pretty package wrapped up with a nice big bow.  The book ends with a feeling of regret and sadness.  But the reader has hope that the next time, when the new girl walks in the class looking different and sounding strange, she will be welcomed and included.

It is not only children who need a lesson on the effects of kindness.  How many of us adults know someone who would benefit from a reminder?  How many of us could use the reminder ourselves?

We will never all agree or believe the same thing.  And it is not necessary, or desirable, that we do so.  But it is necessary that we come to a point where a person's beliefs or way of life are not a seen as a threat because they are different from our own.  And it is necessary that we teach our children that kindness to others in words and in actions is a basic human right.

Barbarians at the Gate

Fangbone by Michael Rex

A review by Isaac (typed by Mom)

The book was about a boy from a different planet who was a barbarian named Fangbone. And he traveled from that planet to this planet and he ended up in a junkyard.  There was a school nearby so he went to that school and tried to blend in.  He had to fight all these crazy monsters along the way.  And he has a friend named Billy.

There was a war between these crazy monsters because they wanted the Toe of Drool and the leader of the barbarians gave the Toe to Fangbone so he could come this planet.  He becomes Billy's friend.  He goes to Billy's house and tries to find a snack.  He finds hot wings and Fangbone eats the hot wings and his face starts turning red.  He swallows the hot wings and he says to Billy "why did you think I would like this?"  Billy says, "because you are a barbarian.  I thought you would like something hot and spicy."  Then, Fangbone takes Billy to the garage and finds good sports gear to dress up to fight the crazy monsters.  The Toe begins wiggling which means that there are monsters nearby.  A monster starts coming out of the ground and it was a Hound Snake.  It had the head of a hound, the body of a snake, a helmet, and two sharp snake teeth.  They fight the Hound Snake and couldn't defeat it.  Then Billy remembers the hot wings and Billy runs to grab the of wings out of the refrigerator.  When the Hound Snake comes toward him, Billy throws the hot wings in its mouth and it jumps over the fence.  Then they drop the Toe of Drool and a bird picks it up. They chase the bird and Fangbone throws a worm at the bird.  The bird drops the Toe but a squirrel picks it up and they chase the squirrel. Then Fangbone throws an acorn at the squirrel.  The squirrel drops the Toe of Drool and they get it back.

I thought this book was cool and crazy and it was kind of weird that a barbarian traveled to this planet and started going to school.  I think it was a crazy, weird idea that the author wrote this book.  I want to read more about Fangbone and I think other people should, too.

12 Years

The stories have been shared around the internet all day -- 12 years ago I was . . .

Beginning my teaching career, still in graduate school, working in an elementary school library.  I don't remember how I first heard about the attack, probably through a co-worker who had heard it from someone from outside the school.  Because they didn't want the TV's on in the classrooms, teachers came into the library to watch the news when they had a few minutes away from their students.  I caught snippets of the reports throughout the day, then went home to sit in front of the television and try to make sense of what was going on.

12 years later it still does not make sense.  And teachers have the unenviable task of taking an event like 9/11 and putting it into a context that our students will understand, whether they are 5 or 15.  I remember having conversations with classes one year after the attack and trying to prepare the students for what they might see on TV that night as the nation reflected back on how America had dealt with and been changed by what happened that morning.  I remember hoping and praying that their parents would be present to help them process what they heard and saw.

Now I teach children for whom 9/11 is an unreal event -- they were not born when it occurred so for them it is distant history.  But as a teacher I still have a responsibility to help them process what they hear and see and to help them make sense of this part of our history.  I do that through books.

I have used a handful of stories in the past twelve years to teach about 9/11.  These are some of my favorites.

Fireboat by Maira Kalman I mentioned already when I reflected on our trip to NYC this summer and our visit to the 9/11 Memorial.  This book was the topic of much discussion among my colleagues when it was first published in 2002.  The image of the planes flying into the towers, even as a painting, was thought to possibly be too traumatic for children to see so soon after the attack.  At that time the actual video and images were still shown on TV with regularity.  It was felt by some that children did not need to see it depicted in a picture book.  I used it anyway with my older students.  I believed that if they might see it on TV, possibly without an adult with whom to talk about the image, then seeing it painted in a book I shared with them would certainly not be any more traumatic.  And the story of the crew who took this little boat to fight the fires caused by the falling towers is a lesson in bravery that the students needed to hear.

New York's Bravest by Mary Pope Osborne is also one that I have used many times around the anniversary of the attacks.  It is the retelling of a legendary firefighter who worked in New York in the 1840's.  His feats of heroism had the people singing his praises until he disappeared in a hotel fire.  Until 9/11, this was just another entertaining American tall-tale.  The story gained new meaning, however, in the aftermath.  Osborne included an historical note about the legend and dedicated the book to the 343 New York City firefighters lost that day.

A newer book that is a lovely and touching tribute is 14 Cows for America by Carmen Agra Deedy.  In 2001 a young man from Kenya was studying in America.  After the attacks, he returned home and told the story of what he had seen and experienced.  His people, the Maasai, dedicated a gift of 14 cows to the people of America to show their support and honor their sacrifices.  This book was published a decade after the attacks and reminds readers that 9/11 did not just happen to America.  It affected the whole world and we have many brothers and sisters who felt our pain.

Just so you know, I cannot read any of these books without crying.  Crying in front of my students is not my preferred presentation style, but every now and then I like to let them know that I am human.  These books touch my heart and I think my emotional connection with the stories helps the students understand the impact of an event that they may not internalize the significance of, but that has had a profound effect on their lives.

No Matter What

Raising an 8-year-old boy can be hard sometimes.  Friday morning in our house was a prime example.  Isaac and I both ended up in tears on the way to school, Matt was up early and grumpy from having to intervene, and the "I hate (insert parental moniker here)" was thrown out for the first time ever.  All around it was a pretty horrible morning.

We made it through the school and work day and met up back at home in better moods than we had left, but then had to go our separate ways again for football practice and other commitments.  I was drained and all I really wanted to do was spend some time repairing my bond with Isaac and relaxing with Matt so we could reassure each other that we weren't the worst parents in history.

Before we left school Friday afternoon, I put Oh No, Little Dragon by Jim Averbeck in my bag.  It seemed like something Isaac and I needed to read together.  It is a picture book and not on Isaac's reading level, but reading it with him wasn't about moving him up to the next level.  It was about reminding both of us that I love him no matter what -- even if the "what" is a kicking the seat, hitting the headrest, screaming at the top of his lungs tantrum on the way to school.

Little Dragon loses his spark and fears his mother won't love him anymore.  I am not sure if Isaac worried that I didn't love him.  I wondered how he felt about me, though, in the middle of the catastrophe that was our Friday morning.  But Little Dragon's mother reassures him that her love is always with him, which warms him up inside and reignites his spark.

Before Isaac went to class on Friday, I hugged him and told him I loved him.  He hugged me back and we both held on a little longer than usual.  After football practice that evening, the boys made me pumpkin cupcakes for my birthday and we sat down and watched a movie together.  It didn't erase what had happened that morning, but it was an affirmation that we are a family -- we will fight, we will forgive, we will cry and laugh, and we will love each other no matter what.

Still Marching

I had a TV hooked up in the library with MSNBC playing in the background while I worked on Wednesday.  It was only the third day of school and I hadn't started teaching lessons yet, so I didn't have to worry about the noise disrupting classes or distracting the students with the commercials.  I still missed the first part of Obama's speech, though, since he was beginning as our dismissal bell was ringing.  But I was back in time to hear this line: "That tireless teacher who gets to class early and stays late and dips into her own pocket to buy supplies because she believes that every child is her charge -- she's marching." I had tears in my eyes.

I went to get Isaac out of the after school program so he could watch the broadcast of King's "I Have a Dream" speech with me.  I had played a video during my children's sermon on Sunday because our scripture was about loving all God's people, but we hadn't talked about it much other than that.  I told Isaac the story of how King improvised the "I Have a Dream" portion of the speech and we watched and listened for the shift in tone.  And he brought me tissues when I teared up again.  

I was rather disappointed that the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington fell the first week of school.  So much is going on those first few days that it is hard to stop and take the time to teach about an event like that.  We were focused on teaching procedures and rules and creating community in the classrooms and building relationships.  All of those things are essential to a successful year, but I feel like we missed an opportunity.

Over the past decade I have read and taught with many books about the Civil Rights Movement.  There are so many good ones.  Some beautiful picture book biographies about Dr. and Coretta King have been written in the past couple of years.  Last year Kadir Nelson illustrated the text of the "I Have a Dream" speech.  The combination of the words and his paintings will bring tears to your eyes.  He also illustrated Ntozake Shange's biography of Coretta Scott King.  Nikki Giovann's biography of Rosa Parks, illustrated by Bryan Collier, who also illustrated Doreen Rappaport's Martin Big Words, is a lovely tribute to that Civil Rights pioneer.  

Those are all wonderful biographies of people that the students learn about every year.  But the books that really bring the struggle home to me, and that I like to use with students, are the fictional stories that depict the era from a child's point of view.  Wednesday night I read Isaac The Other Side by Jacqueline Woodson.  It is the story about two girls growing up in the south in a town with a fence dividing them -- blacks on one side, whites on the other.  They overcome this physical hurdle to become friends despite the scorn of their peers and the worry of their mothers.  It ends with a hopeful picture of a future when the fence will no longer exist.  This evening I read him Freedom Summer by Deborah Wiles.  This story is more raw than the sweet innocence of two girls in Woodson's story. Two best friends, one black and one white, look forward to swimming together in the newly integrated town pool in the summer of 1964, only to get there and find that it has been filled in with asphalt, the towns people preferring to do without the summer past-time rather than share it with the blacks in their community.  Both of these stories had Isaac going to fetch me tissue, but for different reasons.  I cried reading The Other Side because it made me hopeful.  I cried reading Freedom Summer because it made me angry.  

The other book that I can never read without crying when I try to teach with it, and which I have not yet read to Isaac, figuring one teary book a day is enough, is Goin' Someplace Special by Patricia McKissack.  In this story, a young black girl convinces her grandmother to allow her to go to "someplace special" by herself.  Reluctantly her grandmother sees her on her way.  On her journey the girl is subjected to racism and scorn that her grandmother usually shields her from, but she finally reaches her destination -- the Nashville Public Library, the first integrated library in the south.  Yes, I am tearing up even writing about the book.

I could list so many other books that are well-written and beautifully illustrated and that give homage to the people who have worked to make Jim Crow laws and "Whites Only" signs a thing of the past.  I could also send you to the Coretta Scott King Book Award page to see the books that have been awarded honors for demonstrating "an appreciation for African American culture and universal human values."  Or I could invite you to visit a school and see white and black and Asian and Hispanic children playing and learning together, because that is where King's dream is being lived out and taking root in another generation.  It is not fully realized yet, but it is still growing in the hopes and dreams of the children who read these books and hear these stories.  And I am thankful that I get to be one of the teachers who is marching to help nurture them.